Isn’t it a bit strange how inconsistently modern western culture approaches the topic of feelings?

On one hand, in the societal and political arenas, feelings seem to be more important than facts. Being offended is having won the argument, no further discussion allowed.

Yet, when it comes to relationships, feelings are suddenly a sign of weakness. Isn’t it amazing we have become accustomed to phrases like “catch feelings”, as if feelings were a sort of disease to be avoided or cured? 

The truth is, young western people today are learning to approach their sexuality in an incredibly strange manner. It all begins with an open embrace of online dating as primary (hello Tinder) and the subsequent alienation and real-world awkwardness that occurs. Then it all continues with a manipulative fascination with power. Who will message first? Who will message last? At what time? How much time before the next message? How much time before you text him/her after the first date? Continue reading Sex and Feelings Today

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Ah, feelings, the color to our days, the rhythm to the beating of our hearts!

Feelings and emotions can be highly useful. Some feelings, e.g. love, kindness and gratitude, continuously bring joy and satisfaction to our lives. They help us bond with others and enter into meaningful and growing relationships with them. In a sense, such positive feelings constitute the very fabric of our wellbeing. Moreover, they are often our deepest source of spiritual inspiration and meaning.

Others feelings, e.g. anger and pain, can mobilize us to change ourselves and the world around us for the better. Were it not for those darker feelings, major political, social and personal injustices would not enrage us towards change. Historical civil rights movements all started with a feeling of rejection, anger, humiliation and confusion. In a way, these feelings have often served as an inner alarm against the evil in the world. But even more is true. Feelings such as the experience of suffering or grief may indeed be difficult to bear. Yet, they are probably the greatest tool we have for highlighting the blessings unknowingly enjoyed in the past. It won’t be unjustified to say that gratitude is the child of pain. As the saying goes, you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.

Nevertheless, despite all of their utility to many practical matters, feelings are still not an infallible guide to reality. Moreover, no feeling, positive or negative, can be spared this judgement. Continue reading You Don’t Have to Believe Your Feelings Every Time

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